All Bottled Up
by Unconscious-Regret
Summary: Posted Under New Title, A Hidden Feeling...Check it out!
1. Chapter 1, The Call

Chapter 1: The Call 

His shift had just ended, and he was in the lounge, getting his stuff from his locker, when his cell phone rang. He didn't recognize the number, but he answered it anyway.

As soon as he heard the voice on the other line, a look of contempt crossed his face.

"What do you want?" he asked, his voice full of spite.

As the person on the other line answered, all color drained from his face, and he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger.

I walked in just then, and saw the distressed look on his pale face, and immediately asked,

"Ray, what's wrong?"

He just shook his head, than started to speak again.

"You were supposed to take care of her!" He burst, "You promised." He practically hissed, andI couldn't believe the hate in his voice.

""I cannot fucking believe you! I knew it was a bad idea, leaving her with you! I'm coming and getting her and there's nothing you can do about it. Oh, and a word of advice, watch your back."

He hung up, dropped his head into his hands,and tooka deep, shuddering breath as he tried to regain his composure.I was shocked to see this side of him,I hadalways assumed he cared only about himself and his music.I didn't know how to deal with this discovery.

Itentatively his arm, and he slowly raised his head, then blinked as if realizing for the first time thatIwas in the room.

"What's wrong?" I asked him again.

"Nothing." He replied, trying to brush past me, but I blocked his path. He was lying and he knew that I knew he was lying.

"Something's wrong, I can tell. Don't try and act like everything is all right, because I can see right past it. It shows in your eyes Ray, I can tell whatever it is hurts. It doesn't help to keep it bottled up either. Please talk to me."

He walked over and sat down on the couch, then motioned for me to come sit next to him. I sat down, and he began to talk.


	2. Chapter 2, The Dilemma, revised

Author note: I made some changes in chapter one to make it less confusing, and also the story changes P.O.V's, the last chapter was Abby's, this chapter will be Rays P.O.V

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Chapter 2: The Dilemma 

Rays P.O.V

"That was my father." I began, my voice bitter. "He left when I was eight, right before Mom had Madison. When I was 18, he decided he wanted to be part of our lives again. Madi accepted him with open arms, she'd always hated the fact that she didn't have a father, and I think she resented the fact that I wasn't the fun older brother like all her friends brothers, I had to play father and brother to her, and that wasn't really fair to either of us. But I refused to let him into my life. I remembered the things he had done to mom, and to me, and I didn't want it to happen again. But Madi just didn't understand, I guess she thought that I wanted her and mom all to myself. See, over the years she had pretty much built him up to hero status in her mind, and she didn't want to believe anything else. 2 years ago, my mom died, and he gained custody of Madi. I would've taken Madi, but the court said I couldn't have custody until I had a steady job. I promised her that as soon as I could I'd come get her. I put myself through school, and landed myself this internship. It's been 1 year now and I still haven't gotten her. Now she's in the hospital and probably scared, and I need to be there with her. The only problem is that I have no way to get to her." I finished, and looked over to see what she thought of all this. She seemed to be thinking, judging by the look on her face.

"I can take you." She said.

"Abby, you don't have to do that!" I said.

"No, it's ok. I want to, really I do." She replied.

"But what about work?"

"I have this week off, as soon as this shift is over."

"Well…ok…if you're sure. When does your shift end?" I asked.

She looked at her watch, and said

"Actually, it ended 5 minutes ago. So, let me go hand off my patients, and grab my stuff, than we can head over to your place and get what you'll need. It shouldn't take too long."

"Take your time." But she knew that I only said it so I wouldn't seem pushy or anything.

I started for the door and she followed, than asked

"Ray, what exactly happened to your sister?"

That stopped me dead in his tracks, than I turned to face her,

"I…I don't know. He said she was in the hospital and I freaked."

"Oh."


	3. Chapter 3, Gossip

Chapter 3: Gossip 

Susan's P.O.V

I was leaning against the admit desk, eyeing the door to the lounge warily, when Carter came up behind me, and followed my gaze, then looked towards me, eyebrows raised.

"What's up?" he asked, curiously.

"They sure have been in there awhile."

"Who's been in there awhile?"

"Ray and Abby."

"And why are you so worried about Abby and Ray being in there together?"

"Well…it's just I thought I heard Ray yelling a little while ago."

"At Abby?" Carter burst, eyes flashing.

"No, no he started yelling just before she walked in." I reassured Carter quickly.

Just then the door swung open, and Ray walked out, rubbing his hand over his face. They immediately noticed how pale his face was, and the worry that showed in his eyes. Abby followed, and he turned to face her, and asked her something, she nodded and said something in reply. He turned and walked out the door, and she headed toward the admit desk and where her 2 friends and colleagues stood.

"Sooo…what was that all about?" Carter asked her.

"Ray got some bad news, and I was helping him sort some stuff out."

"Hmmm…" was all I said.


	4. Chapter 4, Bloody Hell

Author note: well, here's chapter 4...hope you like it! and if its not too much of your time, please review...it will make me a very happy person! lol...sorry it took so long...but I was in Georgia for a weekat the Peach Bowl...but here it is...and I'm adding chapter 5 too, to make up for it D

Chapter 4: "Bloody Hell"

Abby's P.O.V

We got to his apartment in good time, and he headed straight for the hall closet and grabbed a duffel bag, then went into his bedroom.

"Make yourself at home." He told me.

I heard him pulling open drawers and a door squeak as he opened it. He came out and went to the bathroom door and found it locked.

"Neela?" he called through the door

"Be out in a minute Ray!" she called back.

He leaned against the wall opposite the bathroom door. Neela came out and immediately took a step back.

"Bloody hell! What's the matter Ray?" she exclaimed.

"I'll explain later." He said as he grabbed his toothbrush off the counter.

As he was throwing that and some other things into his bag, he asked her when her shift began.

"In about 20 minutes." She replied.

He briefly filled her in on the basics of what had happened in the past few hours, and her eyes widened, concern evident in them.

"Oh Ray, that's terrible!" she exclaimed. "I have to go now, but promise me you'll call me as soon as you get there. If I'm not here than call me at work ok?"

"Yeah, I promise I'll call you, and fill you in on the rest of the story,"

"Hey, how exactly are you getting there, anyway?"

"Abby" he said, gesturing to the living room, to where I was sitting. "And yes I'll call you A.S.A.P."

"Be careful, both of you. Watch your back Ray, and please don't do anything stupid."

It was pretty obvious that Neela knew more about this situation then I did, and it was almost as if there was some kind of hidden warning behind her words. But it could also have been my sleep-deprived brain playing tricks on my mind. Again. She gave each of us a quick hug then disappearedthrough the door.

He was staring at the door, with a somewhat bewildered look on his face.

"Ray?"

"I just don't get her sometimes." He replied, than looked at me.

I must've looked confused,than he went on to explain,

"Huge fight, we haven't talked for like 3 days, yet here she is, all worried andpractically channelinglike my mother." He explained.

"What can I say? Us girls are pretty damn complicated." I shot back, smirking, and this time, he was the one to roll his eyes.

"Come on, let's get going, you got everything?"

"I think so."


	5. Chapter 5, The Crash, revised

Chapter 5: the Crash

Rays P.O.V

"So where exactly are we heading?" she asked me as we headed to her apartment.

"Yeah, it's about 90 miles from here."

"I know where it is," she said, and there was something in her voice, I just couldn't figure out what it was.

"Okay, I'm gonna get my stiff together, make yourself at home," she walked into her room, and I heard her open some drawers.

Then I heard a huge crash, and called,

"You okay in there, Abs?"

"Yeah!" she called back.

"You sure?" I questioned, "What's goin on in there?"

"Oh, nothing. Just the entire contents of my closet shelf crashing down."

I grinned, then called back in, "Need some help?"

"That would be nice!" she called.

"OK, be right there."

I walked in; and saw the mess, with her standing in the middle, and couldn't help but laugh

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed, "and I thought my closet was bad."

We unearthed the suitcase she has been trying to pull out, amidst a pile of oversized sweaters, too small shoes, and who knows what else. As we started picking up the pile I started humming Hawthorne Heights "Ohio is for Lovers" and surprisingly, she started singing it.

"_And I can't make it on my own_

_Because my heart is in Ohio_

_So cut my wrists and black my eyes_

_So I can fall asleep tonight, or die_

_Because you kill me_

_You know you do, you kill me well_

_You like it too, and I can tell_

_You never stop until _

_My final breath is gone"_

We got the stuff cleaned up pretty quickly, until all that was left was a bundle of letters.


	6. Chapter 6,Letters

Chapter 6: Letters from her past 

Abby's P.O.V

My breath caught in my throat and I quickly grabbed the bundle with shaking hands, and stuck them in my nightstand drawer. I opened the suitcase, and started packing the clothes I had gathered already. Then I caught Ray looking at me weird, glancing at my face, than down, than back. I followed his gaze down, _"so he did notice my hands,"_ I thought. I walked back over to the drawer and grabbed the last letter from Richard out of the bundle, and handed it to him. He opened it up and read it quickly; I watched his face change from disbelief to pain to anger and rage, as he read all the lies, the threats, and the boasting of all the ways he had hurt me. He finished reading, than walked around the bed, and pulled me into a tight embrace,

"You know I would never do anything like that to you, right?"

I nodded, "I know…"

He took a step back,

"Ok, moment over!" he said, smiling.

I laughed, but oh how I wished that moment could've lasted forever, and little did either of us know, we were falling fast for each other. I finished getting all my stuff ready,

"All set?" he asked.

I checked my stuff,

"Pretty sure."


	7. Chapter 7, Roadtrip, revised

author note: wow...thanks for the reviews everyone! really encouraging! well here's chapter 7...enjoy!

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Chapter 7: Roadtrip

Rays P.O.V

"I'll drive." I told her

She nodded, but seemed slightly preoccupied, and I wondered if finding those letters had stirred up unwanted memories.

I slid in my bands E.P. and turned it up. Watching her from the corner of my eye, I smiled as she sat there, bobbing her head in time to the music.

"You like?" I asked

"What's not to like? It's awesome! Who is it?" she asked,

"Me."

"You?" she asked sounding surprised, "I didn't realize you were so good!"

"Why, thank you." I replied, cockily.

"Any day." She said, smiling.

The conversation silenced, and the sound of Jonny Was filled the car. Once we were on the highway, I asked,

"So what had you been planning on doing during your days off?"

"Sleeping."

I laughed, "Way to make use of vacation!"

"Well what had you planned to do on your vacation?"

"Sleep," I said, ducking my head.

"Hypocrite!" she exclaimed, sticking her tongue out at me.

"You didn't let me finish!" I said, trying to cover it up, and she knew it too.

"HA! You're just trying to cover your ass!"

"_Actually_ I had a whole bunch of gigs planned with the guys. But Madi is way more important. The guys will understand, especially Brett. He's like a brother to her. When our father was drunk and the 'rents were fighting, we'd sneak out and go hide out at his house until we figured it was safe to go back to ours. His house was more of a home than our own was, and his family took us under their wing in every sense of the word."

"Oh, wow, I never knew you had it so rough growing up." She said, sounding distant.

I looked over, her face was blank, and her eyes were unfocused, and had a glazed look.


	8. Chapter 8, memories, revised

author note: hey thanks for all the reviews! I feel special now...lol...anyway...here's chapter 8, another short one, but I've got a really long one coming up. Also I'm gonna add the next 2 chapters because Christmas break is over and I go back to school tomorrow and I know I'm gonna be busy...so I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 8: Memories

Abbys P.O.V

Little did he know, I'd been having flashbacks from my marriage, which had been as far from happy as you could possibly get.

:Flashback:

Richard, stop! You're hurting me! People are gonna start asking where these marks are coming from, they already suspect something's not right. They keep asking me if anything's wrong."

:End Flashback:

I shuddered at the thought, wanting nothing but to get it out of my head. He must have noticed me, because he tried to joke,

"The music that bad?"

"No! I really like it! I was just thinking how bad it must have been to have to hide from a drunken father. I knew he knew that I was lying, but I was glad when he didn't press it. I dreaded the thought of staying in a hotel, dreaded the nightmares I knew would plague my sleep. I didn't want anyone to find out about the dreams. Only Luka knew, and Eric. Not even Carter knew about them. I drifted off into a fitful sleep.


	9. Chapter 9, worried

author note: wow...this is reallyalong chapter...I hope you enjoy, and please review, I wanna know what you think of this chapter, I worked hard on it, I hope everyone likes it.

Chapter 9: Worried

Rays P.O.V

I glanced over as she stirred once again and wondered what it was she was dreaming about. It couldn't have been good, judging by the look on her face. I wondered whether or not I should wake her, but decided against is, she needed whatever sleep she could get. It was like she'd been in her own little world this past week, coming in with dark circles under her eyes, and had been very distant. I wondered what was bothering her, and surprised myself when I wondered to myself if maybe I could help her somehow. She must have felt me looking at her or something, and she slowly opened her eyes, seeming disoriented for a moment, just as I was looking back to the road.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty, we're just getting ready to get off at an exit and find a hotel to stay at." I updated her.

"Hotel? I thought we were going to get there without having to stop." She said, and I thought I heard her voice shake, but I figured I was just overreacting.

"I thought we were going to be able to, but we got a later start than I had planned." He explained.

"Oh."

"You don't mind do you? I mean, I could try to drive all the way through, but I'm having enough trouble now as it is trying to keep my eyes open. Plus, I don't think you know the way there, so you can't drive either." I pointed out.

She held up her hands in mock defeat,

"Point taken." She exclaimed.

"Point_s_" I said, emphasizing the s.

"Okay, okay, point_s _taken!" she replied.

"We need to start looking for a hotel, so watch the signs and see if there's anything coming up."

"Okay."

We drove a little farther, before the next sign appeared,

"Umm…Best Western, Motel 66, Red Roof Inn, Holiday Inn, and Days Inn." She listed.

"You can choose." I told her.

"How about the Holiday Inn?"

"Okay."

We got off at the exit and found our way to the Holiday Inn. I pulled into the parking lot while she went in to pay for the room. She came out, and climbed in the car,

"Okay, they had one room left, with a double bed, on the second floor."

"Cool, just to let you know, I sleep on the left side of the bed, and usually sleep facing the wall."

"Good, cause I like the right side of the bed, closer to the AC, and I usually face the wall when I sleep too." She answered.

I grabbed both our bags, staggering under the weight of hers, and hunted down the elevators.

We found our room, and as soon as we got settled she headed straight for the bathroom to take a shower. I turned on the TV, and flipped through the channels, finally settling on Vh1.


	10. Chapter 10, Someone's Goin Down

author note: okay guys, sorry bout the mix up, I accidently had chapter 9 as 10, so this is the actual chapter 10...its a little short but enjoy!

Chapter 10: Someone's goin down

Abby's P.O.V

I walked out of the bathroom in a tank top and long pajama pants, to find Ray playing air guitar. It was completely captivating, watching him play. There was a beauty about it, and it was both graceful and raw. You could tell he was extremely passionate about playing. It was obvious he was an amazing player. I stood, leaning against the doorframe, watching for a few more moments, before going and plopping myself in his lap. I felt his arms encircle me, pulling me close, and for the first time since Carter and I broke up, I truly felt safe. I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder, and his head came down and rested on top of mine. Hawthorne Heights' "NIKI FM" video came on, and I started singing along, pointing out my favorite part of the video where they throw the graduation caps in the air and they turn into bats, I sighed, "I love that part." Then the guitar solo came on, and he started 'playing' along with it. Once the song was over, he lightly slapped my butt,

"Up." He demanded.

"No!"

So he stood up and I fell to the floor,

"Oof!" I glared up at him, "I will definitely get you back for that. You are so goin down!"

"Is that a threat?" he asked, smiling in that cocky way of his.

"You better believe it!"

With that he turned and went into the bathroom, and I settled on the bed, desperately fighting to keep my eyes open. Unfortunately it was a losing battle, my eyes shut, and I knew it wouldn't be long before the nightmares reared their ugly heads. I hoped they wouldn't be bad enough to freak Ray out, or worse, make him worry.

"_He's got enough on his mind as it is,"_ I thought to myself.


	11. Chapter 11, Nightmares, revised

author note: hey guys, sorry this took so long! I had a minor case of writers block, but then I got this idea and had this chapter written in like 5 minutes, lol...anyway, sorry its so short, also I'm gonna start posting updates in my profile so keep checking back! also please review if you geta chance...thank youvery muchly!

and also I changed Lizzies name to Madison, cuz I like that better, and I made some changes to other chapters, they will have revised in their title so check it out, nothing drastic though...just wanted you all to know that so you dont get confused...thanks!

**Simple Plan Rulz:** well, I killed 2 birds with one stone, lol, more bout Ray's sister and had Ray talkin bout abbys dreams! lol...tell me if you like!

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Chapter 11: Nightmares…

Rays P.O.V

"So, nightmares, huh?" I asked the next morning.

Her face paled, and she got the "deer in the headlights" look.

"Yeah." She whispered, eyes downcast.

"You wanna talk about 'em? It helps." I paused, "I know from experience."

"No, not really." Quickly changing the subject, she asked, "You have nightmares too?"

"Yeah. Nightmares about…pudding." I joked around, trying to lighten the mood. It worked…well, kind of, but I did get a small smile and she rolled her eyes. " No, actually more like dreams from when I was growing up, some good, more bad. Like there's this one I have once every year, on the anniversary of my mo- of a really rough time in my life."

'_That was close'_

"Oh wow, mine are usually one of two recurring dreams. One from growing up, and one from my marriage, lately they've been coming more frequently, usually the latter." She admitted, then immediately realized what she had done.

"Well if you ever want to talk, need to talk, I'm always here." I let her know.

She changed the subject again, but I didn't mind.

"So, tell me about your sister, I'd like to at least know a few things about her before I meet her."

"Well…she's 17 years old, on the track and swim teams, she plays the piano. She's **very** sarcastic, and has a stubborn streak a mile long. Actually you kind of remind me of her sometimes. She's got long hair, darker than mine, and wavy, and her smile lights up the room. She talks, **a lot** but ironically she's a great listener, and she loves to dance. And she's a partyer, majorly."

"Holy information overload! When I said I wanted to know more about her, I didn't mean I wanted to hear her whole life story." She teased.

"Oh, trust me, that's not even the half of it."


	12. Chapter 12, Surprise

Author note: Well guys, it's finally here! I am sooo so sorry it took so long, but its been one thing happening right after the other, starting with my computer blowing up, then my grandmother died, than i got my computer fixed and my internet was down...just a lot of things have been happening lately...I promise I'll try to update a.s.a.p...let me know what you think, and if you have any ideas let me know...also, if youdidn't see the updated chapter 11, I changed Lizzies name to Madison,and I made some changes to other chapters, they have revised in their title so check that out...just wanted you all to know that so you don't get confused...thanks! Hope you like! Please review

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**Chapter 12: Surprise**

I'm sitting in my hospital bed, bored to death, waiting for Nick to call. He's taking to long so I call him.

"Hey…what took you so long!" I asked, irritated.

"Sorry, I…um…I was just about to call you."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, sure you were…do you think maybe you could stop by the house and get **the** CD? Please, please, please? I'll love ya forever!"

"What! You don't already love me forever?" he asked, pretending to be offended. I grinned. "Which one do you want? The actual CD or the recording?"

"Which one do you think, dumbass?"

"Oops, sorry, blonde moment," he joked, "anything else you want, _your highness_?"

"Um…a change of clothes, doesn't matter. And if **HE'S **there, don't worry about it; just go another time when he's not there. I don't want you to get hurt."

"_Like I did_."

"Like you did." He stated point blank.

"_He knows me too well._"

"Yeah, like I did. You know he'll either be drunk or passed out, _if_ he's even there. PLEASE don't risk it."

"Don't worry, I know how he is. I'm sure you haven't forgotten what happened last time I tried to get him away from you."

I flinched at the mention of that incident.

"Actually, I haven't been able to get that image out of my head." I admitted.

"Tell me about it." He said, and I knew he was rolling his eyes.

"I'm just glad you were able to get him away from me and than get away yourself. I just wish you hadn't gotten hurt."

Little did I know, Ray was outside the door, listening to every word I said.

Ray walked in just than, and I gasped, dropping the phone.

"Madi? Madi?"

"If you wanted to see me that bad, you could've called. It really wasn't necessary to throw yourself in front of a moving vehicle." He said, his face serious, then seeing the look on my face, grinned, than came over and enveloped me in a big bear hug.


	13. Chapter 13, Battle Scars

Authors note: hey guys sorry it took so long…I've been really busy with schoolwork lately and haven't had much time to write…but anyway, a **BIG** thanks to Simple Plan Rulz who gave me the idea for this chapter, and have it all from Abby's POV and for all her encouragement…well I hope you like it! Please review!

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Chapter 13: Battle Scars

Abbys POV

Ray stepped out of the room and called me over.

"Abby, come here. I want you to meet Madison."

I followed him into the room, staying close, not knowing what to expect.

"Madi, I want you to meet my good friend Abby, she was with me when Chris called, and basically kept me from punching a hole in the lounge wall."

"Can't say as much for the phone though." I added, grinning up at him.

I looked over to the bed, and a look of disbelief crossed my face. I _knew_ this girl.

"Um, don't I know you?" Madi asked.

I just shrugged, and didn't meet her eyes. She closed her eyes and thought for a minute.

"Wait a minute; you're that chick from last year. You tripped or something and my friend caught you before you fell. Then some big dude came over and punched Nick, before he all but dragged you off. You remember it too, I can tell."

Ray just watched, me, eyebrows raised, waiting for me to respond. He looked me in the eyes, and I know he saw the surprise, fear, and disbelief in them. I watched as realization dawned in his eyes.

"Richard?" he mouthed.

I just looked away, knowing he would know that the answer was yes. I looked back at Madi, who was still waiting for an answer, and nodded.

I started to get up to go take a walk and try to clear my head, but Ray shook his head.

"Abby I want you to hear this too."

I sat back down, and waited for him to talk. He moved over and sat down on the edge of Madison's bed. Then slowly ran his finger down a small scar on the side of her face, over a large bruise on her upper arm where it looked like someone had grabbed her and twisted, before pointing to a burn mark just above her collar bone.

"All these, they're from Chris aren't they?"

She didn't say anything.

"I bet these aren't even half the marks. You know it's not your fault right? He did that to mom too." He paused, then added, "And me."

She scoffed, as if she thought he was just saying that.

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. I heard you on the phone with Nick. What, you'll tell Nick that, but you won't even tell me?" I heard the hurt in his voice.

She stiffened, and her eyes were wide and scared.

"You don't believe me do you? I have the scars to prove it."

He lifted his shirt up, and both our eyes widened as we saw the scar that must have been at least 8 inches long that ran across his back, and numerous smaller scars on his shoulders and back.

"Holy shit." Madi and I said in unison, than looked at each other, noticing the identical expressions of horror on our faces.

I went over and ran my hand down the length of the scar, and as I touched him, I felt him tense up, and was surprised at the hurt I felt.

"What the hell happened?" I asked, the same time another voice asked,

"What the hell is going on here?"


	14. Chapter 14, Wheelie Out

Authors note: Well, the much anticipated next chapter...it's kinda long, hope you don't mind...hope you guys like...please r && r...it makes me feel loved...oh and I alsorealized that I didn't had a disclaimer, so

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Disclaimer: I do not own Ray, Abby, or ER...NBC does...however, I do own Madi and Nick, as well as any possible new characters in the future...so please don't sue me!

Chapter 14: Introducing Wheelie

Rays P.O.V

"_What the hell is going on here?"_

Madi shrieked, and both she and Abby jumped at least a foot.

I whipped around to see who had caused the disturbance.

"Ray?" was the disbelieving reply.

It took me a minute to put a name to the face –for he had changed since the last time I saw him- standing in the doorway.

"Holy shit." I exclaimed before getting up and embracing the little brother I never had.

He then turned to Madison, and moved in to hug her.

"Don't ever do that again; you scared the shit out of me! One minute you're telling _me _to be careful, and the next thing I know, you're not there at all. I thought Chris showed up." He scolded, sounding like a mother hen.

"I'm sorry." She replied, eyes downcast.

He turned to me and immediately cracked

"Playing strip poker again, Barnett?"

I looked down, realizing that I was still shirtless. I grinned,

"How'd ya guess? Was it the thong on the floor, or the naked woman in the corner?"

He laughed, "Still up the same old tricks, huh?"

"It's what I do best." I shot back, smirking.

Then remembering that Abby had never been formally introduced, I stepped back so that she was no longer shielded by me, which I had instinctively done when we heard a new voice in the room.

Recognition dawned on his face, but it was obvious he had no clue where from.

"The chick from the fair!" Madi piped up.

His hand automatically went up and rubbed his cheek, which must have been where Richard had decked him.

"Oh yeah. That guy's not with you, is he?" he asked, glancing around warily.

She chuckled, and shook her head.

"Good. Oh, sorry, you're probably wondering 'who the hell is this guy, and why is he asking me these questions?' huh?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Not often you have guys randomly walk up to you asking you questions. Well, with the exception of Ray that is." she said, winking at me.

"Well than, let me just introduce myself. I'm Nicholas Wheeler, but everyone calls me Nick. And I've known these two, since…well, forever."

"Nice to know, I'm Abigail Lockhart, but everyone calls me Abby. I've known Ray for about half a year, and Madi about half an hour. If you care to know"

He glanced at me

"Well, she's quite the catch, isn't she? Assuming she is with you, that is."

I looked over at her and grinned.

"That she is." I responded.

"Well anyway, I just came over to drop some things off that Mads asked me to grab."

He looked over at her, and their eyes locked, and it was like they had a whole conversation with their eyes. He shook his head, than bent down to kiss her forehead, whispering, "I'll be back later."

Turning to Abby and I,

"Alright Barnyard, Abby, Wheelie out." And with a mock salute he departed.

"Wow…he's quite a…character…" Abby said.

We all burst out laughing.

"Barnyard?" she asked, one eyebrow raised.

I know my face turned bright red at the mention of the childhood nickname.

"Looong story."

Madi cracked up, and I shot her a look that said "_Don't go there._"

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ooh, and whoever is review #20 gets a cookie! not really, but they get to feel special for being 20...hehe...anyways, thanks to all of you who have reviewed...you make writing worthwhile, cause than I know I don't totally suck...lol... 


	15. Chapter 15, Help

Hey guys! here's chapter 15! I hope you like it...I've rewritten this chapter about 3 times...let me know what you think! Oh and thanks to everyone who has reviewed!

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Chapter 15: Help 

Madi's P.O.V

I know it wouldn't be long before Ray started in on the whole scars and bruises thing, and I was right. As soon as Nick left, he got up, went over and shut he door, before coming back and sitting by my feet.

"_He _did that to you didn't he?"

"Who? Nick? No!" I asked, even though I knew he wasn't talking about Nick. He knew I was just stalling.

"How long has this been going on?"

I looked away, not meeting his eyes. My eyes locked with Abby's, and I was surprised to see understanding, like she knew what I was going through, like she knew how hard this was for me.

"If you don't tell me, I'll just find out from Nick, and I'd rather hear it from you."

"Ray." Abby said in a warning tone.

He looked over and his eyes widened,

"Aw shit, Abs."

"It's ok, don't worry about it. She'll talk when she's ready. You can't just expect her to confess and have everything be the way it was before. It just doesn't work that way. You should know that."

He seemed to accept this, then got up, looked over to her, as if saying '_see if you can get anything out of her'_ before leaving the room, cracking the door as he left.

She scooted her chair closer to my bed, before saying

"I know exactly what you're going through. I also know just how hard it is to talk about it. I totally understand if you don't want to talk to me, or even if you don't want to listen to me. But I do want you to know, that I will listen to whatever you have to say." She leaned back in her chair and waited.

"Do you _really_ know what I'm going through, or are you just saying that to get me to talk?" I asked her.

"Oh believe me I definitely know what you're talking about. Times 2."

I just nodded, letting her know I was paying attention.

"What do you mean times 2?"

"Let's just say I had a pretty rough home life growing up. My father beat me and my mother –well before he left anyway- and my mother and younger brother are both bi-polar; and than, my ex-husband –the guy from the fair- also abused me. At first I thought that it was normal. It was all I had ever known. My dad beat my mom, and than me, but never my brother. So when I met Richard, nothing changed. I soon realized that no, it wasn't normal, and I began thinking that maybe I had done something to deserve it. But the day I woke up in the ICU, I finally realized that it _wasn't_ my fault, nor had it ever been. This was about 2 weeks after the incident at the fair. What happened at the fair was Richard had knocked me around some the night before. I had hit my head, and had been feeling dizzy. I felt faint, and everything started spinning. Next think I know I'm in some guys arms –Nick's- with Richard towering over us. That night I started planning how I would escape. And to make matters worse, I had kept everything bottled up inside for so long, and when it finally became too much, I had no idea what I was gonna do. If I hadn't had Susan, Luka, and Carter, I don't know what would have happened. I probably wouldn't be here. But, this all happened before I met Ray, and he's definitely helped me deal with all this. He's the first person I've truly been able to trust in a long time, I can tell him anything."

I just sat there in a shocked kind of silence.

'_She really did know exactly what I was going through!_' I thought.

"Geez, I was supposed to listen to you, to see if I could help, and you ended up helping me more than I helped you!" she exclaimed, chuckling.

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Go ahead, click that little button...you know you want to! lol 


	16. Chapter 16, Truth Be Told

Author note: alright there may be some somewhat disturbing things discussed in this chapter, but the thing is, these are real issues, and we need to address them...it affects people everyday, and we need to work together to help people affected by it...anyway, let me know what you think...just please read it with an open mind.

**Cookie-ER:** don't worry I **promise** there will be some Rabby action in the next chapter! lol

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Chapter 16: Truth Be Told 

Abby's P.O.V

I couldn't believe it. I'd only known Madi for an hour, and I had told her things not Luka or even _Ray_ knew. I guess it was because she had gone through the same things I had, so it linked us, or something.

"For awhile I thought the same things you did, that it happened to everyone, even though it only started once Ray left. But when I stayed at friends houses, and their fathers never laid a hand on them, except to hug them, I realized that no, it wasn't normal." Madi admitted.

"That's how it was with me, when my father abused me, but instead of trying to do something about it, I convinced myself that I had done something to deserve it."

"As soon as I got my license I made sure I was as far a way from the house as I could be, as often as possible. I usually stayed with Nick, because I never got asked questions there. He lives with his older brother and sister, who's one of my best friends. They knew not to press, they knew who had done it, and they had tried to find ways to help me, but really the only way to help was to patch me up, give me a place to crash, and to lend an ear when I needed to talk. One good thing is that now Leslie and JT don't drink at all, cause they've seen what drinking causes a person to do, and they don't want to be that way."

"So your father's an alcoholic?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Mine wasn't. He'd have a few drinks every once in awhile, that's when things were the worst, but it didn't happen very often."

"Lucky you," She said sarcastically, "it's an everyday occurrence at my house."

"Has he ever done anything other than knock you around?" I asked cautiously, not sure whether it was too personal.

"You mean like incest?" she asked, bluntly.

"Yeah, like incest." I confirmed.

"No. He tried once, but he was so drunk, all it took was one good push and he was on the floor, out cold. I high-tailed it over to Nick's than had to run back and get my keys, as well as dad's, since no one was up at Nicks. Did your dad…." She let the sentence trail, knowing I would know what she was asking.

For the first time ever, I admitted the truth.

"Yes, he did."

Madi shuddered. It was only then that I realized the fill extent of the damage my father had inflicted.

And I cried.

I cried for what had been taken from me. My innocence. My childhood. And countless other irreplaceable things. I heard the sheets rustle, than her arms wrap around me, rocking me, and stroking my hair. Than I felt her body tremble. We cried for ourselves, and for each other. Suddenly I realized that _we_ were the **lucky** ones. We were still alive. We bore many scars, but we were still alive. We had the rest of our lives to let go of the past, and start moving on, but there were many people who were unable to escape, and they paid with their lives. All because no one cared enough to ask if things were ok. Or maybe it wasn't that they didn't care, but that they were scared.

I don't know how long we sat there holding each other, but one thing I do know that it brought us closer, and it helped us realize that there _is _hope out there.

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well guys I hope you like..plz review and let me know what you thought about it, good or bad...


	17. Chapter 17, My Fathers Temper

Author note: well guys, sorry for the wait..but I had 3 different endings to this and I couldn't figure out which ending to use...hope you like this one! luv ya guys!

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Chapter 17: My fathers temper

Rays P.OV.

While they talked, I sat outside the purposely cracked door, trying to hear what they were talking about, and not hearing much except a few words here and there, and my name once. I glanced at my watch, trying to figure out how long they'd been in there. Over an hour at least. Pretty soon Nick ambled up.

"What _are_ you doing?" he asked.

"Huh? Oh, hey. Shh I'm trying to hear that they're talking."

"What who's talking about?"

"What Madi and Abby are talking about. I thought maybe Abby could get something out of her, since she wasn't going to tell me anything." I said, not even trying to hide the hurt in my voice.

"Oh." He acknowledged, sliding down to sit next to me on the floor.

"How long has it been goin on?"

He looked away, and kind of squirmed.

"Look, I really would like to hear it from her, and even if she tells Abby anything, I know she'll make Abby promise not to tell me anything. Just tell me, and if you don't I'll go ask Les. I know she'd tell me."

He snapped his head around to face me. "Don't bring Leslie into this, you know you hurt her."

"Chill dude, things are cool between us. You know I would never hurt her, just as well as you know I never meant to hurt her in the first place. You knew how much I cared for her, and how much it hurt me when I had to leave."

"I know, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to tell you off. It's just…brotherly love, ya know?"

"Yeah I understand. Don't worry about it."

"Still, don't bring her into this, it kills her that there's nothing she can do to make this stop. That there's nothing she can do to help."

A ghost of a smile paused briefly on my lips, but died quickly.

"She always was like that. I remember how hard she cried that night when he sliced my back…" I shuddered, only remembering that night in quick flashes, and her scared face was one of those.

"Ugh, don't even bring that up! It was horrible." He said, turning slightly green just thinking of it.

"And to answer your question, about a year and a half."

I gasped, and all color drained my face. I dropped my head into my hands.

Turning on him, "Why didn't you call me! Why didn't you let me know, so I could come help! You had my number; you knew where to reach me. Why did it have to come to this for me to find out!" I asked, gesturing at the hospital room.

He looked surprised by my outburst. I needed to calm down. I had my fathers temper. I got up, taking long angry strides in the direction of the elevator. I knew my way around this hospital like the back of my hand. God knows I've been there enough.

"Ray. Ray! Ray, wait!" he called after me.

I didn't.

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I walked aimlessly through the halls for a little while, before hearing the dinner carts and realizing what time it was. Abby'd be getting worried soon. I headed back upstairs, finding Abby just sitting outside the room; knees drawn to her chest, head leaned back against the wall, eyes closed. There were tearstains down her face. 

"_Oh God._" I thought, not knowing what to expect.

I slid down so I was sitting next to her.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She jumped and her eyes flew open.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you. Are you okay?"

"It's okay." She said, giving me a shaky smile, "I'm fine, just tired. It's been a crazy day."

I nodded, even though I didn't believe her, she wasn't telling the whole truth, but I figured she'd tell me when she was ready.

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well guys...go on..push the little purple button down there...you know you want to! ;) 


	18. Chapter 18, Too much to handle, Part I

Author note:Well guys, i had writers block FOREVER! and once I got started writing again, I couldn;t stop..literally...I put on my hawthorne heights cd, -I have a 5 disc changer- and started writing, by the time i had finished **ONE **chapter, I had gone through the hawthrone heights cd, as well as Panic! at the disco, _and _the new Fall out boy cd...which totaled to just over 2 hrs...for this one chapter, which came out so long I had to split it into 3 parts! well heres the first part! hope you like!

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Chapter 18: Too Much to Handle Part I

Rays P.O.V

"You ready to go?" I asked Abby, who was leaning against me, head resting on my shoulder.

"Mhm." She replied sleepily.

"Alright, just give me a sec, I'll tell Madi we're leaving."

I poked my head into the room,

"Hey, we're goin to go. It's been a long day. We'll be back tomorrow, but if you need anything, just call me, 'kay hun?"

"Yup, please tell Abby thanks for me."

I nodded, and blew her a kiss, before waving goodbye to Nick.

"C'mon babe, get up. It's time to go." I said to Abby, extending my right hand to help her up.

"Don't wanna."

"You gotta, isn't there a rule somewhere about sleeping on hospital floors?" I joked.

"What can I say? I'm a rebel." She retorted.

"Alright, fine, you leave me no choice." I bent over, easily lifting her into my arms.

She squealed "Okay, Okay, I'll go!"

I carried her anyway. She relaxed, snuggling closer, head resting on my shoulder.

"You better not fall asleep, you'll be deadweight!" I teased.

"Mmph." She grunted sleepily into the hollow of my collarbone.

I gently loaded her into the car, because, just as I'd expected, she fell asleep.

We got to the hotel, and as much as I hated to, I woke her up, cause there was **NO** way in hell I was gonna carry her up 2 steep flights of steps, seeing as this place was to cheap to have working elevators. When we got to the room, she grabbed her pajamas and headed straight for the bathroom to take a long hot shower. When I say long, I mean LONG. I finally called to her,

"You better leave me some hot water!"

"If you're lucky!" she called back, albeit smirking. She finally emerged, settling herself so her damp head was resting on my chest, hand rested gently on my stomach.

Figuring now was as good a time as ever, I asked, hoping it sounded casual,

"So, what did you two talk about? Anything you can tell me?"

She looked up apologetically.

"I'm sorry; she made me promise not to tell. She really wants to tell you herself, but I think she's afraid you might get angry."

"She thinks I'll get angry with her?" I asked, incredulous.

"I'm not sure, she didn't exactly say anything, but I could tell that she was worried you get mad. Maybe not at her, but at your father. Because despite everything he's done to her, she still adores him. She _did_ tell me how it was before your mom passed away, that when things get bad, she just remembers those times. I guess it reminds her that it wasn't always this way.

"Oh, I'm surprised she remembers that. There are times _I_ don't even remember how it was before mom died."

She nodded, but I could tell she didn't even really comprehend what I was saying. She was completely exhausted, I could tell.

"Hey, you go ahead and get comfortable. I'm gonna get showered and make a couple of phone calls before it gets too late. I'm not sure how long I'll be."

"M'Kay." She mumbled, almost incoherently.

I pulled the covers up over her, and headed to the bathroom before changing directions and heading outside so I wouldn't bother Abby with my phone calls.

I called my best friend from childhood, leaving my cell number and telling him to call me when he got a chance. Then I called Les and JT to say hey and see if they wanted to get together the next day for lunch or something. I finally called Madi, both dreading it, and looking forward to getting the truth, hoping to get her to tell me something.


	19. Chapter 18, Too much to handle, part 2

author note: hey guys! I'm sorry it took so long to update the second part, but my computer wouldn't let me onto my login page and then the site was down yesterday, so here it is! and thanks to ALL of you who have reviewed! you guys are the reason I write, you're what keep me going...without you I would have no reason to write, so thanks for all the encouragement and positive feedback..I love you all!

**CocaCola1052: **the reason I didn't add all 3 parts was to add the element of suspense, my dear Karissa...lol...and by not adding part 3, I'll be keeping you in even more suspense, MWUAHAHAHA! Also,thanks for the idea for this wholechapter...I probably would never have even thought of this idea, had you not planted the seed in my head..lol..so thanks again!

**Butterflyswest:** I'm so glad you're lovin this! that's aHUGE compliment, _especially_ coming from a Reela junkie...lol...

**Simple Plan Rulz**: Wait no more! the next installment of Chapter 18 is finally here...and I wanted to thank you for letting me run stuff by you, I'm not sure ifI ever thanked you for that...so I'm thanking you now...

now that I've rambled for a good 5 minutes, here is Chapter 18 Part 2!

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Chapter 18 part II: Too Much to Handle

Rays POV

The phone rang a couple of times, and I hoped she wasn't sleeping. I _really_ didn't want to wake her; she could be a bitch when she gets woken up.

"Hello?" she answered after the third ring.

"Hey, how ya doin' sweetie?" I asked.

"RAY!" she squealed excitedly. "I was hoping you would call."

"Really? Aw, I feel special now." I joked, but underneath it I _did_ feel special. To tell the truth, I absolutely adored my little sister.

"Really really." She replied, playing the game we used to play when we were younger. "I'm sorry I wouldn't talk to you this afternoon. It was just kind of awkward, since your new girlfriend was with you. But after Abby and I talked, and I realized what she meant by 'You should know that,' I felt kind of foolish, cause we always used to tell each other everything, and it was what I'd missed so much. I didn't want you to be mad at me, because you thought I was keeping secrets or something."

"Aw, babe, I could never be mad at you...well, stay mad at you, at least."

"Now you tell me." She said, and I knew she was rolling her eyes.

"Ok, down to the serious shit, er, stuff. I really need to know everything that has happened since I left town, so I can help you. It's crucial that you don't keep anything from me."

I could sense the walls going up again.

"Look Madison, I know this is hard, and I know it hurts, but you **have** to tell me everything, or else I won't be able to help." I think she finally realized how serious this really was, because I only used her whole name when I meant business.

"You know I'm not doing this to hurt you, I'm doing this to _help_ you."

'_Oh God, I'm starting to sound like Wendell.'_ I thought to myself.

She sighed resignedly, knowing there was no way she was going to get out of this.

"Everything started about a week after you left. I'm pretty sure it was because you weren't there to protect me anymore. You're a lot bigger then he is, and he knew if he did anything while you were still here, you'd kick the shit out of him."

'_You got that right.'_

"So when you weren't there anymore, he had no reason to stop. I guess it was because he was angry, angry with mom for leaving us, angry with himself for not noticing how she sick she was before it was to late, and angry at you for leaving, since you always took care of me, even when mom was still alive. He wasn't used to having a kid to look after. He was barely able to take care of himself, much less a 17 year old he didn't even want in the first place."

"Still, there are kickboxing classes or something for this, there're solutions other than taking your anger out on your _only_ daughter."

"At first he left marks, but when teachers started sending notes home and neighbors started asking questions, he started hitting without leaving marks."

"Yeah, I know he does. Frankly, I was surprised when I saw that bruise on your arm."

"That bruise wasn't from him. It was from Nick-"

I cut her off "Nick!"

"Let me finish! Jesus. As I was saying, it was from Nick, grabbing me, trying to get me out of the way of the car, but he wasn't quick enough."

"Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off."

"It's ok. Anyway, things progressively got worse. He started drinking more, and pretty soon he got laid off. He stopped paying the rent, and the bills. I had to use the money I'd saved for college to pay for that. He got in a bar fight, and got hauled off to jail, and I had to borrow money from Nick to pay bail. I'm still paying him back."

"Jesus, Madi. Why didn't you call me? I would have sent money. My pay may be shit, but I'm sure it would have covered those costs."

"I don't know, I really don't know Ray, there was just so much shit goin on at the time. I guess at the time it just seemed like you walked away from Glen Ellyn without ever looking back, well, almost like you were abandoning me."

That took me **completely** by surprise.

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well, go on, press the lil purple gray? button...you know you want too! lol

luv ya guys!


	20. Chapter 18, Too much to handle Part 3

author note: heres the much anticipated chapter 18 part 3, the last installment of this chapter...thanks to all of you who have reviewed, I appreciate it sooo much, you guys are awesome!

disclaimer: I own no one except the characters you dont recognize, i.e nick, madi, chris, les, jt...but I wish I owned Shane, haha

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Chapter 18: Too much to handle Part 3 

Ray's P.O.V

'_Low blow.'_ I thought, cringing, _'**what** do I say to that?'_

I cleared my throat.

"Wow. I had no idea you felt that way. I just assumed that you knew that I would **_never_** abandon you. I'm sorry if I didn't call as often as I should have, but I was just trying to get settled into a new city, at my first real job, interning at a prestigious hospital ER, no less. I was saving my money so I could get a bigger, better apartment so I could bring you to live with me. Just like I promised. I had no idea you felt that way. I want you to know that there was not **one** day that I didn't think of you. I wanted to bring you with me when I left, but when I first moved to Chicago, I was _living in_ the hospital for Gods sake! That was not the place for a 15 year old to be living, they would've taken you away faster then you could say stop. I didn't want you in that kind of living situation."

"I understand that now, Ray, but when you left it _seemed_ like you were abandoning me. I was 15 years old, and I fucking worshiped the ground you walked on. I didn't know what to think when you said you were leaving. I was angry, upset, hurt. I thought, at the time, that I had done something to make you leave, that you didn't love me anymore. And I was scared, scared that things would never be the same, scared you would forget about me. I was confused and still reeling from losing mom. I didn't know which way was up or down anymore, my head was so fucked up, I stopped eating, sleeping. I don't know how I was even functioning. Nick noticed and helped me get through it." She was almost yelling now, "I could talk to him almost like I could talk to you. He helped me realize that you _weren't_ abandoning me, that all those feelings that came along with the grieving process."

I still couldn't get past the fact that she had been so upset, and I hadn't _even_ noticed.

I was speechless; I didn't know what I could say to even make up for it.

"Jesus. I'm so sorry Madi! I know that doesn't cut it, but I was still grieving too, and I was to selfish to even see if you were okay. I'm such a bastard, and I wouldn't even be surprised if you decided you hated me. I can't even begin to know how to make this up to you."

"Hey, hey, it's not your fault! Stop thinking that way. You were just trying to do what was best for _me_. It was my naïve, selfish 15 year old mind trying to deal with everything that was being thrown at me. I'd just lost my mom, my idol was moving to a city 3 hours away, my dad was trying to drown his sorrows in alcohol every night; it was just getting to be too much to handle. I was trying to find a way to understand what was going on, and at the time it was the most logical explanation I could think of. It seemed like everyone I loved was leaving, leaving me behind. Everything just happened so fast, it was like a whirlwind, taking my old life and replacing it with this new life that I had no idea how to live. You leaving wasn't the real reason I was feeling that way, it all stemmed from losing mom, anything else were just catalysts."

"I just…can't believe that….things got so bad without me…even realizing it."

"Ray what's wrong? You sound funny."

It was all too much to take in at once.

I felt clammy, and I knew what was coming next. The same thing had happened during my mother's funeral. I dropped my phone and bolted for the bathroom, leaning over the toilet just in time. Soon I could tell the light in the bedroom was turned on, and Abby appeared at my side.

"Jesus Christ Ray, what's wrong?"

I just shook my head, before choking out,

"Madi…phone...tomorrow"

She must have understood what I meant because I heard her find the phone, and relay the message...either that or she knew me even better than I realized.

"Madi? You still there? He's gonna call you back tomorrow, ok? No, I don't know what's wrong, but I'm gonna go see. Alright, sleep good. We'll see you tomorrow sweetie, bye."

She hung up, came back into the bathroom, filling a cup with water for me and wetting a washcloth, wiping my forehead tenderly.

"_What_ just happened?" she asked, concern filling her face.

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come on guys, just push the lil button, you know you wanna! ; 

luv ya guys!


	21. Chapter 19, Kisses and Confrontation

hey guys! heres chapter 19 (finally! lol) there will be 2 much anticipated events (**Cookie-ER**, this is for you! haha)...Thanks to all my faithful reviewers..CocaCola1052, Simple Plan Rulz, Cookie-ER, Butterflyswest...and everyone else who have reviewed! I love you all! hope you enjoy! dont forget to R&R!

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Chapter 19: Kisses and Confrontation 

Abby's P.O.V

When I woke up the next morning, Ray was gone.

I stretched, moaning quietly as a sharp pain shot through my lower back.

"_Ugh, hotel beds suck!" _I thought to myself.

"Hey, you okay?" I heard from somewhere to the left of me.

I jack-knifed up, looking around to see where the voice had come from, my eyes finally lighting on Ray, sitting in a chair by the window.

"Jesus Ray, you just scared the shit out of me!" And yes, I'm fine; my back always hurts when I get up in the morning."

He looked at me, almost as if he was trying to figure out whether I was lying or something. I guess I pulled the innocent act off pretty well, cause he seemed to believe me.

"Come here."

I climbed out of bed gingerly, not wanting to jar my back and cause more pain than I was already in. I walked the short distance to where he was seated, and he gently spun me around so my back was to him, before pulling me down onto his lap and massaging my back and shoulders.

"On the days after my father would knock my mom around, she would be really sore, and she would ask me to do this, and she always said that it made her feel better, I guess I'll never know." He explained.

"Ah," I sighed, feeling myself relax under his touch. "That feels so good, you _really_ should have thought about being a masseuse."

"Maybe, but then I never would have met you." He whispered; mouth close to my ear.

I turned my head slowly, and our mouths connected softly, in a kiss that stole my breath.

'_Why hasn't this happened before?' _I asked myself, before shifting so that I faced him, straddling his lap.

We kissed again, with more passion, and it deepened into a make-your-head-spin-want-to-rip-your-clothes-off kinda kiss.

I ran my hands through his spiked chestnut hair, and he slid his hands under my shirt, rubbing my back in slow circles.

_**RING!**_

"FUCK!" he groaned, and ignored him, but I reminded him that it might be Madi, and he should probably answer it.

"**What!**" he answered upon answering his phone. "Oh shit, sorry JT, I thought you were someone else." He said, making up a quick excuse, "Not-uh, we were supposed to meet up with you guys at 10."

I could hear the other person's exasperated response,

"Ray, it _is_ 10."

He looked at the clock on the nightstand, it read 10:01.

"SHIT! You're right; I guess time just got away from us." He said, winking at me, "Um, listen, we'll be there in…"

Looking at me,

"20 minutes?"

I nodded.

"In 20 minutes, c'ya bye."

I quickly dressed in my fave hip hugger jeans, and a black spaghetti strap tank top, before pulling on my black Chucks, and topping it off with a silver studded belt. Then pulling my blonde hair up into a messy bun, adding black eyeliner, mascara, lip gloss, and a hint of eye shadow before emerging from the tiny "bathroom."

I smirked when Ray's jaw dropped to the floor.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you it's impolite to stare?" I teased, walking over and pushing on his chin so his mouth closed.

He still stared.

"Alright Ray, we better go before you get in anymore trouble with your friends."

"Abby!" he whined, "They won't care if we're a few more minutes late; he's been waiting since 10."

"But I don't want to make a bad impression." I whined back.

He let out an exaggerated sigh.

We finally left, and walked to the diner, which was only a few blocks away.

At the restaurant, I was introduced to JT, an slightly older looking carbon copy of Nick, but with a goatee and eyes that seemed wiser then his age; and Leslie, a tall, fair skinned auburn haired girl with striking green eyes.

"Hi, I'm Leslie." She said, with a slight southern drawl, extending her hand and smiling.

We all hit it off really well; they spent some time catching up on what had happened in each others lives since they'd last seen each other. Leslie had recently become engaged, and had moved to South Carolina, which explained her slight accent; but had come up as soon as she heard what happened to Madison. JT had stayed to "hold down the fort" and keep an eye on Nick and Madison, helping her out whenever he could.

Leslie and I sat together, facing the entrance, and Ray and JT sat backs to the entrance. They had just gotten up to go to the restroom, when the bell rang, signaling a new arrival.

"Oh shit. This is NOT gonna be good." Leslie muttered; her eyes wide.

"What's not gonna be good?" I asked, concerned, cause she looked scared.

She nodded toward the door, "See that guy that just walked in? That's Ray's father."

I looked and my mouth dropped open. I sensed more than saw Ray come up beside the booth.

"Abby? You okay?" he asked, sounding concerned and curious at the same time.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" I asked.

"You look like you just saw a ghost. _He's_ not here, is he?" I knew he was referring to Richard, but Leslie didn't, and she looked nervous, like she thought I was gonna tell Ray that his father was here.

"No, he's not. I hope to God he doesn't show up. We actually used to come here a lot, I haven't come since everything that happened, but I don't know if he still comes here anymore."

Leslie had a bewildered expression on her face, like she had just entered a conversation that she had no idea what anyone was talking about.

I turned to her,

"He's talking about my ex-husband, Richard."

"Oh." She said, sounding relieved.

"Who did you think I was asking about, Les?"

"Um…I don't know, I thought maybe she knew someone here that she didn't want to see, or something." She said, sounding uncertain, but Ray didn't seem to pick up on it.

Unfortunately he chose that exact moment to look up, coming face to fave with his father,

"You fucking bastard, what do you think you're doing back here? You don't belong here anymore." His father hissed.

"I'm the bastard?" Ray scoffed, "_I'm_ not the one drinking themselves to death, and beating their daughter." He shot back.

Leslie's eyes widened.

"You son of a bitch, how do you even know? It's not like you call her or come see her."

'_Oh, low blow'_ I thought, cringing inwardly.

"Let's just say I have my ways." Ray said, smirking.

Before we even saw what was happening, Chris' arm shot out, attempting to deck Ray.

Leslie screamed.

Ray ducked, and quick as lighting, his hand shot out, grabbing Chris' arm and twisting, cop style, shoving him against the table.

"I swear to God, if you come within a hundred feet of Madison, you're a dead man Chris. A dead man."  
He released his hold, brushing off his hand, glaring at the man who had given him life.

"Watch your back Chris. You know I mean what I say."  
Chris stalked off, never looking back.

I looked around, trying to figure out where JT had been during this whole event, and noticed that every pair of eyes in the diner were on us.

I drew in a sharp breath when my eyes locked with a pair that was _all_ too familiar.

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go on...push that little button...you know you want to! 

luv ya'll!


	22. Chapter 20, Antarctica, revised

hey guys! alright here's the scoop...I was reading over this chapter, and realized I had made quite a few mistakes, so I went through, and changed what I had messed up, and also added 1 or 2 things...so hopefully it will be a little less confusing...also a big thanks to my faithful reviewers **Cookie-ER, CocaCola1052, Simple Plan Rulz** and **clarkson04**...you guys rock my socks off and back on! lol..if it wasnt for you I would be extremely sad...cause you are pretty much the only people who review...and I love you for it!

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Chapter 20: Antarctica

**Nick's P.O.V**

I had some time to kill before visiting hours began at the hospital, and I vaguely remembered Les saying something bout meeting up with Ray at the. So I figured I'd drop by and see if they were still there. I walked in to an almost silent restaurant, with all eyes on the table occupied by my sister, Abby, and Ray.

Ray looked like he was gonna strangle someone, Les looked dazed, and Abby was looking over her shoulder, but was as still as a statue. JT was no where to be seen. I found myself worrying more about Abby than my sister, even though I barely knew her.

I walked up, "Hey guys, how goes it?"

Leslie jumped at the sound of my voice, then blushed; Ray gave me a look that said, _'I'll tell ya later;'_ and Abby remained unmoving.

Looking at Ray, I nodded to her,

"What's up with Abby?"

He looked over, realizing for the first time, the state Abby was in.

"Christ, Abby?"

She didn't respond, and Leslie scooted out of the booth so Ray could slide in and take care of Abby. Leslie reached up to hug me, which kind of scared me, cause she wasn't normally all clingy like that, before asking,

"Nick, could you go find JT? He and Ray went to the restroom about 20 minutes ago, but he never came back."

"Yeah, I'll be right back, than you guys can fill up both in on what just happened."

"Mm, yeah…" she said, her eyes focused on Abby, and I could tell she wanted to help, her "maternal" instincts were itching to take over.

"Let Ray handle it for now, Les."

She rolled her eyes at me, and smiled briefly.

"Leslie, any idea what she's staring at?" Ray asked.

I looked in the general direction she was staring at, and I immediately saw who she was looking at. He looked almost exactly like the guy from the fair, only younger, and his face didn't look as much like a pit bull as the guy from the fair.

"Nope, no idea; I think she might've been looking for JT, but I'm not sure."

The other guy evidently broke eye contact, cause Abby suddenly slumped downing, taking a shaky breath, and leaning against Ray.

"Hey, what was that all about babe?" he asked softly, gently pushing her bangs out of her eyes.

She just shook her head, and scooted closer to Ray; I headed off to find JT.

**

* * *

Madi's P.O.V**

The old gang with the exception of Abby trooped in my room around noon, but there was something going on, I could tell immediately.

Ray looked extremely pissed off, Abby seemed strangely vulnerable, and her eyes were hooded, like she was trying to hide something, the walls were back up, I could tell. It was like she was trying to protect herself from something…or some_one_.

Leslie looked dazed, JT was just as mellow as ever, and Nick was…well, Nick was Nick.

We all hung out for awhile, before Nick said he was thirsty, and was going to get a drink; did anyone want anything?

He asked Abby to come with him, saying something about Les, Ray and I needing to catch up, or something. I noticed when they left how close to Nick Abby was staying,

'_Something happened this morning, I wish I knew what.'_ I thought, worried. This wasn't the Abby I'd met yesterday.

**

* * *

Nick's P.O.V**

We walked out the door, but instead of heading to the vending machines like I'd said, I pulled her into a waiting area.

"Hey, what was up at the diner?"

"Nothing." She said, fiddling with a flower shaped necklace, made of some kind of shell; abalone, maybe?

"I saw who you were looking at."

She looked startled, a deer in the head lights kinda look.

"W-w-what are you talking about? I wasn't staring at anyone."

"I saw the guy, who is he? He looks an awful lot like the guy from the fair."

"It's Richard's brother, Greg." She said finally, apparently figuring out that I wasn't gonna give in until she told me who it was at the restaurant.

"Oh…"

She suddenly looked up at me with an intensity that made me kind of nervous.

"Don't tell Ray." She pleaded, eyes huge, "He has enough to worry about with Madi and Chris."

'_Why would anyone want to hurt her?'_ I thought to myself.

"It'll be ok Abby. We'll all keep an eye on you, me and JT; we just gotta make sure you're never alone, except like in the bathroom and shit." I added, and that got a small smile out of her. "Nothing will happen as long as one of us is there with you."

"Thanks." She whispered, barely audible.

I grinned down at her, "Now c'mon Abalone, we better get back before they start thinking we eloped to Antarctica or something."

She cracked up.

"Abalone, I like it…" she said, looking up at me, then got this puzzled look on her face, "Wait a minute, who'd want to elope to Antarctica?"

"I really don't know, wanna try it?"

She laughed again, and as we walked back into Madi's room,

"But seriously! _Who_ would want to elope to Antarctica!"

All eyes were on us, as we walked in the door,

"Could someone please tell me!"

"You, Abby." JT deadpanned. "You would elope to Antarctica."

She thought about it for a minute,

"You know, you're probably right." She said, _completely_ serious.

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c'mon hit the button! 


	23. Chapter 21, Discharged, finally

hey guys, sorry for the wait...i've been super busy with finals, and planning my bday party..tomorrow, woot woot! lol...so here's the next chapter, sorry its soo short, but i should have the next chapter up asap, i have it written, it just needs typed...oh and thanks to all you who've reviewed, I love all of ya...and thanks to **Simple Plan Rulz** and **CocaCola105**2 for all the help!

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**Chapter 21: Discharged, finally**

Ray's P.O.V

When Abby and Nick returned, she was in an obviously better mood. They were bantering back and forth, something about eloping to Antarctica. I admit I was jealous. I hadn't been able to make her laugh like that all day.

I noticed that the guarded look in her eyes was mostly gone, and I felt a rush of relief. She came over and I slipped my arm around her waist, a gesture that was slightly possessive, but mostly the need to touch her. She looked up and smiled before resting her head on my shoulder.

I noticed her tense when Nick motioned for JT to meet him outside the room, and squeezed her a little tighter.

Leaning over, I whispered in her ear,

"What's going on? You've been acting weird since the restaurant."

"Nothing." She replied, not meeting my eyes.

"You sure?" I pressed.

"Yes!" she said, sounding irritated.

"Ok." I said, making it known I didn't believe her, hoping she'd get the point and tell me what was going on.

Madi must have noticed the tension between us,

"Ray when do I get sprung? I _need_ to get out of here."

She hadn't set foot in a hospital since the night Mom died, with the exception of this hospitalization. They brought back too many bad memories.

"Well if all goes well, possibly this afternoon, Madison." Her doctor answered, upon entering the room.

"Oh, hi Dr. Nesbitt." She replied, "Really? I might get out today?"

"Yes, I just need to check you over, see how your knee is healing."

"Her knee seems to be healing fairly well from what I see, I checked her over earlier." I interjected.

"Ray?" she asked.

"The one and only." I responded lightly.

"Good to see you, you finally came back to town; unfortunate reason I must say, but it's good to see you nonetheless. So where are you working now?"

"Resident, Cook County General ER."

"Hm, you're working with some of the best doctors in the country there. Is John Carter still there?"

I felt Abby stiffen at the mention of Dr. Carter's name.

"No ma'am. He recently returned to Darfur."

"He always was one to help others, such a sweet young man."

"Mind me asking how you know Dr. Carter?"

"No, not at all. I had the honor of meeting him at a conference in Philadelphia about 4 years ago."

"Oh."

"Well Madison, your knee does seem to be healing quite well. Can you bend it?"

"Barely, it's pretty stiff though." She said, demonstrating, and wincing slightly.

"Good, good. Some stiffness should be expected during the healing. Have you been doing the exercises the physical therapist showed you?"

"Yup, but I have to stop sometimes cause my knee hurts so much."

"Well if it hurts too much you should stop and rest for a little while, then resume the simpler ones. You need to start rebuilding the strength in your knee, but you have to be careful not to do any more damage."

"So things look good?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes, I'll send a nurse with the discharge papers for you to sign."

"YAY," Madi squealed. "I get to go home!"

"We need to figure out living arrangements, and get that out of the way. When does school get out?" I asked.

"It gets out this coming Friday. We've got exams starting Monday." Nick replied.

"Madi, are you planning to go to school on Monday?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm planning on going to school, I've missed enough as it is, and I don't want to miss finals."

"Ray, how much time did you take off?" Abby asked.

"They gave me 10 days off, what about you?"

"I got 9 days off."

"So we've been here 2 days, we could probably stay and get everything sorted out before we have to go."

"Hm." She replied, and I noticed Nick and JT exchange dubious glances.

'_They know something.'_ I thought, before helping Madi get all her stuff together.

* * *

Come on, push the little button and give me a nice birthday present! lol 


	24. Chapter 22, The Confession

Author note: hey guys, sorry this is so short...next chapter will be waaaay longer...oh, and in case anyone hasnt figured it out, when its _'Like this'_its a thought...just though I might clear thatup...so Iwas really bored the other day, and this was also sparked by a convo with Color Esperanza about themeaning over her name, so I looked up all the names of themain characters in my fic...you'd be surprised at what some of them mean...so i figured what the heck, I'lldo a fastfact kinda thing...Raywise protector (that suits him), Madisonson of a mighty warrior, Abigailjoy of the father (can you sayironic? haha), Chrisbearer of Christ (more like Spawn of Satan)Jonathon Tristan(JT)gift of God, bold, melancholy...so yeah, a bit of randomness for ya'all...I'll let you get on with the story...enjoy!

Thanks to all those who reviewed, especially Simple Plan Rulz and CocaCola1052 (this is for you! w/o you, this chapter never would have happened, thanks for the postal blowout idea!)

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Chapter 22: Confessions

Abby's P.O.V

After Madi was discharged, the six of us went out to dinner, before going and getting her settled at Nick's.

Back at the hotel Ray and I were lounging around, the television turned to some cheesy made for TV movie. My head was resting on his arm, and he was playing with my hair, something he always seemed to be doing…can someone say fetish? When I finally confessed what had been bothering me.

"Ray?"

"Yeah babe?"

"If I tell you something will you promise not to get angry?" I asked.

"I can't promise I won't get angry, but I _can_ promise to _try_ not to get angry."

'_Good enough.'_

"I saw…" I started.

"What'd you see Abby?" he asked, rolling over so he look at me.

"I saw…Richard's brother…Greg…at the diner…this morning…" I answered, hating my voice for cracking.

"**WHAT!**" he snapped, eyes flashing.

I flinched, and he pulled back, eyes wide, noticing the fear that showed in my eyes, realizing he was partly to blame.

"Hey, hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you." He said, rubbing my arm softly.

"It's okay." I whispered, not trusting my voice.

"Why didn't you tell me when we where at the diner? I woulda beat the shit out of him for you." He said, only half joking.

"You were busy with Chris." I replied simply.

His eyes hardened for a moment.

"Don't you know you're more important to me than _he_ will **ever** be?" he said, spitting he out like it was poison.

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

"Yes, I would give you the world if I could."

"Well, I guess it's a good thing I don't want the world than, huh?" I asked, smiling up at him.

He grinned, "Yeah, I guess so."

"I have another question, but you don't have to answer it if you don't want to."

"Shoot."

"What exactly started the feud between you and your father?"

His mouth became a thin, hard line, and his eyes filled with so much hate, I was scared of what he might do. I never realized it was possible for so much hate to be locked inside of one person.

He thought for a moment,

"I think…I think it was because he hurt my mom, who was the only person who loved me, well, other than Madi, and I couldn't do anything to help. Every time I would even _attempt_ to intervene, not only would he hurt me, but he would hurt mom even worse. I constantly felt helpless, like nothing I could ever do would keep him away from her. Or from me."

"I know what that's like."

"_You_ don't know what the hell it's like!" he exploded suddenly.

"The hell I don't, I had to protect my brother, my mother **_and_** myself from every drunk ass loser that walked through the door! Let alone the father that liked to "play games" with his little girl! Don't fucking tell me I don't fucking know what you are fucking going through!" I screamed right back.

He just sat there completely silent, and even after I closed my eyes against the hot, angry tears that were threatening to spill over, I could still see the stunned expression on his face. I didn't understand why he was so surprised. Suddenly, the realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

'_Shit…I never told him…he doesn't know…now I'm gonna hafta explain…and go through all the memories again…'_ ran through my head, _'maybe he won't ask.'_ I thought, knowing there was no way I was gonna get away with not telling him.

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I know you guys probably hate me right now, and you'll hate me even more when I say what I'm gonna say next

whether or not you get the next chapter depends on the amount of reviews...and I can tell how many people are looking, when I check my stats page, so I'll know whether people are looking or not...so review, it only takes 3 seconds of your time...

Love ya!

Katy


	25. Chapter 23, Mistaken Revelation Part I

Hey guys! wow, I got **ALOT** of reviews on that last chapter, thanks, 8 reviews, more than any other chapter yet! WOOT! so this is part 1 of a 2 part chapter...it was 4 1/2 pages long as just one chapter, and it wasnt even finished then, so i decided to just do a 2 parter...I'm having a little bit of trouble with the second part, so it may take a while to get it up(if anyone has any ideas feel free to email or PM me...I'll give you a brief idea of what i want to happen and we'll see if we come up with anything)...this chapter goes to anyone who thinks there isnt enough Rabby here (cough**CookieER**cough)LOL...and thanks for all you who've reviewed, especially **CocaCola1052**, **Simple Plan Rulz**, and **Cherry Blossoms02**(is this better Anie! haha), for helping out when i needed it.**ALL **of you guys are absolutely fantastic, and there are too many to list, it would take like10 minutes, and I know you all want to get to the story!..so yeah, enough chit chat, heres the story:

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**Chapter 23: Mistaken Revelation**

Ray's P.O.V

I felt sick to my stomach after Abby's revelation, Abby's _mistaken_ revelation. She turned away from me, took a deep, shaky breath before turning back to face me. I could tell she was trying desperately to fight back tears, but a few trickled out.

"Abby?" I asked, and my voice sounded strangled.

She bit her lower lip, a gesture that would have been extremely cute any other time,

"Please…don't make me relive it…don't make me go through it again…" she sobbed, and it scared me, cause I had never seen her cry like this; deep, racking sobs that left her gasping for air. They were the kind of sobs from someone who doesn't cry very often, yet she'd cried twice now in the past 2 days. I pulled her into my arms, holding her close, rubbing her back.

"Shhh…it's ok…you don't have to tell me anything right now…whenever you're ready I'm here."

We sat there for God knows how long, me rocking her back and forth, her sobbing until no tears were left.

"This is what you were so upset about yesterday, after you talked to Madi, isn't it?" I asked.

She nodded her head slightly.

Sometime later, she finally fell asleep in my arms, and I gently laid her down, and covered her up, before laying down myself. But instead of falling asleep, I spent most of the night lying awake, thinking about what Abby had said to me, or rather, screamed at me.

"_The hell I don't, I had to protect my brother, my mother **and** myself from every drunk ass loser that walked through the door! Let alone the father that liked to "play games" with his little girl! Don't fucking tell me I don't fucking know what you are fucking going through!"_

**

* * *

The Next Morning**

She was still asleep when I woke up around 8ish. She looked so peaceful and innocent when she slept.

'_Why would anyone want to hurt her?' _She has had so much shit dealt to her in her life, yet she is probably the strongest person I know.

She stirred and began to wake up.

I ran my thumb lightly down her cheek,

"I'm sorry."

"If anyone should say sorry, it's me. I should have told you everything. Madi's the only one I've _ever_ told. And I don't even know why I told her."

"It's ok."

I brushed my lips lightly over hers, and immediately felt the electricity crackling between us. I captured her lips with my own, running my tongue slowly over her lips, requesting entrance. She rolled on top of me, and I placed my hands on her waist, as our tongues did a wildly passionate dance. I lightly bit her lip, and she let out a soft moan. Her hands were running through my hair, as my caressed every reachable part of her body.

We released our lips reluctantly, both breathing heavily.

"Abby" I groaned huskily, once again capturing her lips with my own, sliding my hands up under her tank top, exploring every inch of her. She arched her back in response, and I rolled, cradling her in my arms, so I was on top, elbows supporting me.

"Abby...are we...going too...fast?" I asked between kisses.

"No...I'll let you know if we are."

"M'kay." I replied, pulling her tank top off over her head. She gasped as I slowly traced around her navel, and along her collar bone. I slowly kissed her torso, starting along her throat, and ending just below her navel, than back up.

"Ray." she sighed, arching her back again. I ran my finger lightly under the waistband of her pajama bottoms. All the while she was completely exploring my torso and back, tracing each new found muscle, kissing my neck and throat, running her hands through my hair. Before I even realized, her pajama bottoms were gone. I slowly caressed the sloping curves of her thighs, running my finger along the edge of her panty-line.

She stiffened suddenly.

"Ray."

"Yeah baby?" I asked kissing her throat.

"I can't. Not now." she said, breaking down.

"Hey now, don't cry baby. It's okay." I said, wiping her tears away with my thumbs, "It's alright, stop crying please. I'm not mad, if that's what you're worried about. "Although, I admit I _was_ a little bit pissed off.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She sobbed over and over and over again.

I placed my finger on her lips, and looked her in the eyes,

"Abby. Stop. Right now. It's alright, you're fine. Nothing's gonna happen. Quit apologizing."

She was gasping for air now; doubled over, clutching her stomach, borderline hyperventilating.

"Look at me Abby. You need to calm down. Deep breaths Abby, take deep breaths."

After about 5 minutes she finally calmed down.

"Abby, please, you need to tell me whatever it is you've never told me. I want to help you, but I can't if you don't tell me what it is that's wrong. I can't stand seeing you this way.

* * *

Enough Rabby for you? huh huh huh? haha...so yeah, same as last time, the less reviews i get, the longer it takes for me to update **OR** no update at all...Reviewer #90 gets CAKE! haha...

Also if anyone wants to hear the song at the beginning, Shane West's band Jonny Was' drummer, Justin McCarthy the drummer in this particular band, to check out the song, email me and i'll send you the link!

(thanks to butterflyswest for correcting me about Justin!)


	26. Reviews

**Hey, I really wanted to thank you guys all, soI figured what the heck, I'll just do a "chapter" of replies to you guys reviews...cause it would take too long to do it all in my author note for the next chapter...and as well as this, the next chapter will be uploaded also for your reading pleasure!****

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**

Starfriend- Well, I feel very special that you chose my fic to review, since you don't often review

**CocaCola1052-** Well, we did better than getting 3 more reviews, we got 7 more!

**AmYkYo- **Don't worry, I am definately not gonna have Abby get pregnant, I was never planning on that.

**Clarkson04**- I'm glad that there's nothing you don't like!

**StormyBlue**- OMG, your reviews crack me up!

**Cherry Blossoms02**- Now I understand what you meant when you said de ja vu...and thanks for being my stranger and for all the help! HEHE

**Englishpetal**- Not enough Rabby for you huh? What am I gonna have to do for it to be enough! LOL

**Simple Plan Rulz**- I do love the bittersweet haha...I hope the next chapter is interesting enough for you! Thanks for all the help!

**Butterflyswest**- I'm so glad that there's nothing you _don't_ like!


	27. Chapter 23, Mistaken Revelation Part II

**Author note: hey guys! I am sooo sorry that it's taken me so long to update...I've rewritten this about 5 times, and then I was sick and it's just been one thing after another...I myself am not particularly happy with this chapter, it didn't go the way I planned at all, but apparently my friends think otherwise so I'm just gonna post this so you guys don't start to hate me...I might change it, I might not. All depends on the response I get. Sorry it's so short, but like I said, I was having so much trouble, I decided I would just write it like it was and upload it...next chapter should be longer though.**_

* * *

_

When all is said and done  
Will we still feel pain inside?  
Will the stars go away with night?  
Sharp smile for the morning light?  
It's like the best dream to have  
Where every thing is not so bad  
Every tear is so alone  
Like God himself is coming home to say

I-  
I can do any thing  
If you want me here  
Yeh I can fix any thing  
If you'll let me near  
What are those secrets now?  
That you're too scared to tell  
I whisper them all aloud  
So you can hear your self

Green trees were the first sign  
The deepest blue, the clearest sky  
Silence came with brightest eyes  
And turned water into wine  
The children ran to see  
The parents stood in disbelief  
And those who knew, braced for the ride  
The earth its self then came alive to say

I-  
yeh I can do any thing if you want me here  
And I can fix anything if you'll let me near  
What are those secrets now  
The church is scared to tell  
I whisper them all aloud so you can hear your self

Sorry, I have to say it but you look like you're sad  
Your smile is gone; I noticed it bad  
The cure is if you let in just a little more love  
I promise you this; A Little's Enough  
I'm sorry, I have to say it but you look like you're sad  
Your smile is gone; I noticed it bad  
The cure is if you let in just a little more love  
I promise you this; A Little's Enough

I'm sorry I have to say it but you look like you're sad  
Your smile is gone; I noticed it bad  
The cure is if you let in just a little more love  
I promise you this; A Little's Enough  
(repeat)

I'm sorry, I have to say it but you look like you're sad  
(just a little)  
Your smile is gone; I've noticed it's bad  
(just a little)  
The cure is if you let in just a little more love  
(just a little)  
And I promise you this; A Little's Enough

**A Little's Enough**

**-Angels and Airwaves**

**Chapter 23: Mistaken Revelation Part II**

**Ray's P.O.V**

_Previously on **All Bottled Up**_:

"_Abby, please, you need to tell me whatever it is you've never told me. I want to help you, but I can't if you don't tell me what it is that's wrong. I can't stand seeing you this way. "_

"My ass! Why would you, Ray Barnett, rock god with a doctor day job, want to help me, Abigail Lockhart, baggage-laden alcoholic?"

"Because I love you god damnit! I love you Abby, and I _have_ loved you. I just never knew how to say it."

"How do you know that?"

"Because you make me _feel_, Abby, feel things I've never felt before. When I'm with you, I'm not the cold, unfeeling asshole everyone seems to think I am."

"You may say that now, but it won't last. Everyone always says that. But you know what _always_ happens Ray? Do you? They leave. They leave, that's what happens. They always leave."

"Yeah, well in **case** you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly everyone, Abby. Did you ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, there might _actually_ be someone that wants to be there for the long haul? Did you ever think that **maybe** there's someone who really does care about you? Or have you been too busy wallowing in your own self pity to notice that there was actually someone there for you if you needed?"

"That is not true. You have **no** right to say that to me!"

"It _is_ true and you know it. You just don't want to admit it, cause that would mean that someone other than you was right, and you were wrong. Or are you scared of taking a risk that may very well lead to something you could, I don't know, maybe _count on_ for once?"

She had no reply for this.

"Look, I'm sorry for yelling, I just don't understand why you won't tell me this. After everything we've been through together, why can't you tell me? Do you not trust me? All I want to do is help you, but how can I if you won't _let_ me? Why won't you let me in? Why do the walls continuously go up when I ask you about the nightmares, about your childhood? I want to know what makes you so scared at times that you don't talk for hours. But you just won't tell me."

"I really don't know Ray. It's…It's like once you've been hurt, you're so scared to get attached again, like you have this fear that everyone you start to like is going to break you heart…it's hard to let someone in again…I let Carter in, and he left me for Africa, I let Luka in and he broke my heart…I'm just tired of getting hurt every time I start to trust someone again."

I cupped her face in my hands,

"Abby, you've got to believe me. I'm not going to leave you, please, just let me in." she looked like she was gonna break down and tell me, but instead she turned on me.

"Yeah, well in case you haven't noticed, _you_ haven't exactly let _me_ in either. Every time I even mention your past or your childhood you **completely** shut down. Why should I tell you mine if you won't tell me yours?"

"Alright, you want to know _my_ past? I'll tell you. My parents never wanted me in the first place. My father beat my mom and me every frigging chance he got. He raped my mother, that's were Madi comes in. She was wanted even less than I was. Yet Madi, Madi was the golden child. Until the day he snapped. Stabbed mom, let her bleed to death, Madi saw the whole thing. Is that enough or do you want me to delve deeper, recall every even as it happens? Cause I can. Do you wanna hear…"

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**Abby's P.O.V**

Just like that, he stopped talking; didn't even finish his sentence. He got real pale, and his breathing became shallow.

"Ray? Ray are you okay?"

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**Ray's P.O.V**

"Get away from her! Stop it, you're hurting her!" I cried, trying to get him to stop beating her.

I stepped forward, grabbing his arm, and he abruptly turned on me, throwing me against the wall before smashing a beer bottle over my head. Then everything went black.

"Stop it Ray, you're scaring me!" I could hear Abby calling in the distance, like a radio station that didn't come in clearly. I slowly opened my eyes, and Abby's face swam above me. I felt her hands on my shoulders, trying to lever my upper body so it was resting on her lap.

'_Whoa, wait a minute, where am I? And why is Abby trying to pick me up?'_

I tried pushing myself up, to help Abby, and groaned as the room spun. "Ugh what happened?"

"You tell me." She said, giving me the classic 'Abby stare.'

I scrubbed at my face with the heels of my hands, "I'm thinking that that would be the equivalent of your nightmares."

"Um…okay…" she said, looking baffled.

"Maybe a better way to explain it would be a flashback."

"Hmm…what was that?"

"That was the night my father bashed me over the head with a frigging beer bottle." I scoffed, "_That_ was a lot of fun."

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The less reviews I get, the longer it takes for me to update **OR** no update at all...Reviewer #100 gets a COOKIE! haha... 

Disclaimer: I don't own ER, Maura Tierney, Shane West, A Little's Enough, or Angels and Airwaves...although I wish I did...However I do own any characters you do not recognize...

The events, characters, and places in this story are fictitious. Any similarities to persons, living or dead, are purely coincidental.


	28. Chapter 24, Telepathy

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update, this was yet another chapter I was unhappy with...but I actually think it turned out pretty good...this one switches P.O.V's but it is marked, so you'll know when it switches, also, italics are thoughts. ususal disclaimers apply...hope you enjoy! we've reached the 100 markon reviews! thanks so much to all of you who've reviewed, and for those of you who dont review, please review if you can, I really like finding out what people think!****

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Chapter 24: Telepathy

**Madi's P.O.V**

I was thirsty, so thirsty.

I snuck out of my bedroom, and took slow, quiet steps into the hall, checking to see if _he_ was still up.

Walking down the stairs, all I saw was blood, bright red.

Covering her.

She wasn't moving.

"Mommy? Mommy, what's wrong?"

"Its okay baby, Mommy's fine."

She wasn't.

"I need you to go upstairs now honey."

Her voice was weak.

Barely a whisper.

"Can you do that for Mommy?"

"But I don't want to leave you Mommy."

"Go upstairs sweetie, hurry, before daddy sees you."

"But I'm thirsty Mommy. I want a drink."

I whined.

"You can get a drink upstairs, baby. Just do as Mommy says."

She was pleading now.

"I wuv you Mommy."

"I wuv you too, munchkin. Hurry now."

I didn't hurry fast enough though.

He caught me.

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**Ray's P.O.V**

I jolted awake, immediately realizing why. Throwing the comforter and sheets back, I jumped out of bed, awakening Abby in the process,

"Ray, what's going on?" she asked groggily.

I didn't reply, just quickly dialed Nick's house, not caring that it was 2 o'clock in the morning.

Leslie answered,

"Hello?"

"Les, its Ray-"

She abruptly cut me off,

"She had another dream, she's pretty shaken up, Nick's with her now. I'll go give her the phone."

"Ray?" Madi answered.

"Hey sweetie, are you okay?"

"I guess." She said shakily.

"Do you want me to come over?"

"No, I'll be okay. I've got Nick, Les, and JT. You need to stay with Abby."

"Are you sure?" I pressed.

"She needs you more than you know."

"Jesus Madi, you sound like a frigging 50 year old." I said, chuckling, "Watch Dr. Phil much?"

She giggled, which is what I was hoping for, and immediately shot back,

"Well if _I'm_ a 50 year old that makes _you_ a 60 year old. And _ew_, he's creepy."

"Ha-ha, _very_ funny Mads." I said sarcastically. "Are you sure you don't want me to come over?"

"Yes Ray, I'm positive, just stay with Abby."

"Alright, call me if you need anything. I love you."

"Ok, I will. I love you too Ray. Night."

"Night."

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**Madi's P.O.V**

"You okay Madison Claire Gardens?" Nick asked, using my pet name, as he sat on the edge of my, well, Leslie's, bed.

"Yeah, I'll be okay."

"Alright then, I'm gonna go to bed now."

I could feel the panic rising in the back of my throat.

"Don't leave me! I don't want to be alone…" I cried, grabbing his arm.

"OK, hey its ok, I'm not gonna leave you. I promise." He said, stretching out next to me. He pulled me close, arms wrapped around my waist. I squirmed, and he released me. I rolled over so I was facing him, wrapped my arm around his waist, my head on his chest, snuggling closer than most consider 'just friends.' One arm wrapped around my waist, he rubbed my back in slow circles.

"Thank you."

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**Ray's P.O.V**

"Ray what happened?"

I paced the room thinking back to the first time this had happened.

"Ray, are you gonna talk to me?" Abby's exasperated voice rang out from across the room.

"Sorry, Abs, I was thinking about something Madi just said."

"It's okay. Just tell me what happened. And stop pacing, you're making me dizzy."

"Sorry."

"And quit saying sorry."

"Demanding aren't we?" I teased.

"Cocky aren't we?" she retorted.

"Touché."

"Now, will you answer my damn question!"

"Meow!" she glared at me, I held my hands up in a peace like gesture, "Okay, okay. Madi has always been, and probably always will be one of my best friends. We can read each other like a book. For some strange reason, I always know when she has a nightmare. If I'm asleep I wake up, when I'm working I get shaky. It's been this way as long as I can remember. It's like some weird connection kind of thing."

"That's really weird, it sounds almost like telepathy, except for the fact I don't really believe in that kind of stuff."

"Hm…I never really thought of it that way."

"So I take it that's what just happened."

"Yeah, hopefully that's the only one tonight." I said, before getting lost in my thoughts again.

'_I wonder what Madi meant by Abby needs me more than I know. She obviously knows whatever it is that Abby isn't telling me. And I know for a fact there's no use trying to get Madi to tell me._'

I sighed deeply, lacing my fingers through my hair.

'_Maybe it has something to do with her seeing Greg today. Might as well give it a try._'

"Abby, do you think Greg is going to call Richard? Is that what you're so worried about?"

"Honestly? I don't know if he will or not. But I do know it's a strong possibility that he might. Greg was always the 'accomplice' whenever Richard did anything. Adrian, the youngest, was always the one to help me. He wasn't anything like the oafish brutes his older brothers were. Hell, he smuggled me out of Minnesota. We still keep in touch. He might know where Richard is. But I wouldn't be surprised if Richard makes an appearance in the next few days. That's how he works."

"Were you gonna tell me about Greg, or were you just planning on not telling me at all?" I asked.

"Do you know how much I wanted to tell you **when** it happened?"

"If you wanted to tell me so bad, _why_ didn't you tell me when it happened?"

"Don't you think you have enough to worry about right now with Madi, Chris, and everything else that's been going on lately? I didn't want you to worry about something as small and trivial as seeing my ex-brother-in-law."

"Well, judging by what you just hinted at about said brother-in-law, I don't think it's something as little as you seem to want me to think. And besides, didn't I tell you that you're way more important than Chris?"

"Yes, you did, but God, you'd just had this _altercation_ with said person, and you were **majorly** pissed. I knew if I told you, you'd beat the shit out of him right there with everyone on the diner as witnesses and you'd most likely be spending the night in jail. And then I'd be all alone." She finished almost mournfully.

"Well, you've got a point there, but you could've told me at the hospital."  
"You were busy getting Madi discharged."

I decided to change the topic,

"So what took you and Nick so long to come back from getting the sodas today; which if I may point out, you didn't even bring back."

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Well guys I hope you liked it! please r&r, it will make me a VERY happy person! 


	29. Chapter 29, Note to the Faithful

Guess who's baaaack! The Incredible Edible Egg! Nope, guess again. Superman? Still not right, one more try! Oooh I know, the Easter Bunny! Unh-unh…IT'S KATY!!!!!

Do you guys realize that it's been 10 months since I last updated?! I can't believe it…so here's an update (finally) on what's going on in the mind of Unconscious-Regret…over the past few months, I've gone over and found quite a few discrepancies throughout this story…I have been editing and rewriting the whole thing, and instead of going through and uploading the revised chapters (many of which I've basically completely rewritten), I'm just gonna start over and publish it under a new title…I have an idea, but if anyone wants to share their input, I'd be really happy, because the one I'm thinking of using is basically the same -I just took "All" out of the title-…I'm _hoping_ for something more imaginative though…so put those _wonderful _brains to work and see what you come up with! So, anyway, that will be up soon, hopefully…idk when though, depends on if I or one of you guys comes up with a better title…I will also leave the original up, because I'm too lazy to take it down…not really…I'm leaving it up for anyone who might want to figure out the changes, because they have **no** life...Just playing! You guys are absolutely amazingly awesome…so I just wanted you all to know what was going on…can't wait to hear from you guys again…also, I changed my e-mail addy, so check my profile for the new one! Until next time…

Love Always!

_Katy_


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